Can You Break A Hundred? By Steven Briggs

Can You Break A Hundred? By Steven Briggs
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Hundred Steven BriggsI’ve spent a good amount of the recent years threading my way through the United States. One of my favorite spots is the mother of Jazz, the brass blasting New Orleans. This is the city where I first ate fried reptile, and it’s appropriate to yell “SHOW US YOUR TITTIES!” for the currency of beads. Although boobs tend to get most of the attention in New Orleans, I happen to prefer women’s butts which is the reason that I chose to scream ”SHOW US YOUR BUTT, MOON US!” from balconies with a lesbian who shared my opinion. When the girls would comply to our request, we would reward them with anal beads. My partner went by the name Chispita, a young latin girl who measured 5 foot nothing and had dark chocolate hair that sprawled down, across her back. I held her hand as she danced effortlessly around the large groups of drunk partiers and the occasional group of guys scavenging for any girl that had let liquid poison swallow her standards. “Where are we going?”, I yelled. “I have a friend who can read our futures, you have to meet him!”, she replied. We made our way down the beaten concrete steps, past the steel door and arrived in front of a colorful curtain. She told me to wait as she went behind the curtain to see if her friend was with a client. I take a load off in the only chair in the room wishing I had a drink to pass the silence. A couple moments later a man walked out. I stood up to introduce myself with a warm smile and was greeted with a cold stare and a loaded pistol. Realizing I had been set up, my palms fill with sweat, i’m the most awake I’ve ever been. We stood there for a moment until he casually said, ”Well…come on,” - like I knew the routine. I stood there silent. This time he makes his instruction clearer, ”EMPTY YOUR POCKETS YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” I moved my stone like fingers as quickly as I could. An ID, a cell phone (one that was a couple years too late to be fashionable), a $5 dollar bill and a Mcdonalds buy one get one free coupon. Pissed off, he screamed again “DON’T YOU HAVE ANY MONEY IDIOT?!” I replied by telling him I had spent it all on anal beads. No longer irritated, but rather intrigued now, he was forced to ask why. I told him the reason and he burst into uncontrollable laughter and shouting, ”Boy, i thought you were one of those gays!” He took the five dollars, shoved it into his pocket and said that this time he would let me go- but if he caught me alone next time I’d be paying, even if it meant him taking the shirt off my back. I ran out the door, up the stairs, and down the street until my lungs burned. Stumbling into the first bar I found, I order a pint and a shot of Jack. The bartender slid the drinks across the bar and said, ”That will be 10 dollars”. I take off my right shoe, reach inside and say, “Can you break a hundred?”

Written by Steven Briggs

You can see more of his writing on his blog A Meditation On Twisted Memories

 

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